Last haircut in Oswestry

It’s strange how attached we become to places.  I first came to Oswestry years ago to learn about the mysteries of dog grooming on a one day course for pet owners run by Debbie of  www.thebristlesdoggrooming.com and now she’s retiring and unless fate or a new booking brings me here again I think this will be the last time I sit blogging in Wetherspoons in the town. 

I shall miss it. Oswestry has charted a few stages of my life over the last few years and they've certainly not been without incident of one kind or another.  I’ve been sitting here remembering the various chapters, some exciting, some depressing, but all somehow significant.  I’ve used the four hour wait while the dogs are with Debbie to reflect, meditate, think, cogitate, plan, design, dream and even on one occasion, flirted but now all that is coming to an end.  Yes, Debbie has suggested another groomer and we will go and see them in Saltney, but somehow Saltney isn’t going to be what Oswestry has been.  Apart from anything else, it’s much closer to the yard so I wont need to hang about there, and anyway there’s nothing there to hang about for.  So the Oswestry chapter is ending today and I’m a bit sad about it.

The good news though is that the lorry is mended.  The clutch is working as new and the MOT was flown through with no advisories, the inspector commenting positively about its general condition.  I’m not the sort of person who gives my vehicles names, by the way. The job was expensive but I completely trust the guy who did it and it’s been done well.  Much better to pay for quality than sit regretting it at the side of a road somewhere waiting for the rescue. It’s now all ready for the season so just the trailer to sort now.  I replace the wheel bearings on the trailer every year as it’s very near the weight limit for the type of axle. One year I arrived at an event to find not just a puncture but the entire wheel, bearing and axle end on one of the four wheels just gone!  That was a trifle scary as I have no idea of when or where it happened. I left Chester with a four wheel trailer and arrived with a three wheel one! I now have wireless tyre pressure sensors on the trailer wheels so I find out if the trailer has a puncture with an alarm in the cab.

The last couple of days in Ruthin staying with Russ and Suzanne has allowed me to catch up on some show admin jobs and follow up some enquiries.  Another enquiry came in as a result – Folkeast ( www.folkeast.co.uk ) in Suffolk in August from 16^th to 18th, and I am waiting to hear if that will be confirmed.  A new county for the show – Suffolk.  I haven’t performed in Suffolk before but I think I would go down well there.  All sort of folky, country and ethnic. I like all that especially as I will play around with it a bit.  As soon as it is confirmed, and I think it will be, it will go onto the Calendar page of the website.  Watch this space.  If it is confirmed, then I will have hit my events target for 2014 and I can start just to take the bookings I really like the sound of and not just whatever comes in.  Always a good feeling.  And I can take the chance to visit friends over in that part of the world.  All good.

A final final wander round the charity shops in Oswestry now before collecting the dogs from Debbie for the last time. I will find a nice card for her as she’s been very helpful over the years and I’ve learned a lot about looking after dogs from her. And I’ve also learned a lot about myself sitting here in Wetherspoons, but all things must pass.

All the best from a road near you,

Mr Alexander

Homeless

So while the lorry’s being mended, I’m homeless for a few days.  It's having new clutch cylinders and an MOT. Fingers crossed nothing major is discovered and the season can begin with all systems go. It was a little disconcerting to leave it in a lonely commercial garage in Wrexham and hitch a ride back to my yard which now has a gaping empty space where we have been living for the past few months.  The good news though is that the dogs and I are staying with Russ and Suzanne in their lovely house in Ruthin, enjoying the luxury of a proper bed, great food and a lovely bathroom!  I love the occasional bath and they have a particularly nice one and so I indulge myself with bubbles and bath salts and deep hot water until I’m all pruny and squeaky clean.  They are both great cooks and I’ve really been spoiled while I have been there.  Russ fills up a hard drive with all sorts of good films and tv series so I go away armed with enough to keep me goggling for weeks!  They are great friends and lovely people.

I wandered around Ruthin with the dogs for an hour or so before calling at their house.  There’s a charming antique shop converted from a miniature cinema (picturehouseantiquecentre.co.uk) and I found a couple of old cases with brass fittings which I fell for and bought for a knock down price.  One has the original silk lining and is probably 1930’s.  The other is a briefcase.  Not sure which props will go into them, but they’re really nice and fit the show perfectly.  I love old cases, they have such lovely stories.  Ruthin itself is a small welsh country market town with quite a few small antique shops and a regular indoor market.  The craft centre which is where Suzanne is showing some of her furniture (www.suzannehodgson.co.uk) has some fascinating welsh crafts and artefacts and a great café with local food.

On Sunday afternoon Russ, Suzanne and I visited Conwy - a World Heritage site, one of only two in Wales.  The castle overlooks the whole town and there’s some great walks along the walls.  It took me back years to my younger days and the Conwy Festival which I used to attend for years with the old stage when it was built onto a old BMC lorry, an FG 550 which was also called ‘the threepenny bit truck’ (the threepenny bit was a pre-decimal coin worth about 2p with angled sides) as the cab doors folded back against the lorry body on the same sort of angle as the sides of a threepenny bit.  I find it strange that I have to explain that to people but I guess I’m amongst the dwindling numbers who remember a childhood when a threepenny bit was a small fortune!

Only one or two more Cat’s Paw Theatre shows next week before the time comes to quit my acting job and become an entertainer again. First, though, I need to renovate and re-varnish all the parts of the stage and decide which props need replacing and what just needs a good clean.  I have the new illusion to build too. There’s a good feeling about this time of the year – I am beginning to feel the season isn’t so far away now.  In fact the first booking in Llandudno at the Extravaganza is in less than six weeks. Then I’m back on the road properly and can really continue to blog about my life as a travelling showman, which I’m sure you will find more interesting than all the personal stuff I’ve been wittering on about over the winter.

The diary for 2014 is almost as full as 2013 and it always fills up more once the new financial year starts and the councils know what they have to spend.  I have just taken a Christmas enquiry for December 6^th and 7^th from Oxford Castle as a new customer and it will be great to be in Oxford near Christmas if it is confirmed.  I was there a couple of years ago alongside the gaol and it’s a lovely venue.

And I’ve even been exercising – a yoga session every evening has made me begin to feel I can manage all that physicality in the show again.  And still no alcohol.  I’m going to try to get through the whole season without.  A real challenge with all those real ale tents and events I go to!  We shall see.

All the best from a road near you,

Mr Alexander

Hooray the Ides of March!

At last the first rooty tendrils of spring are pushing through the black compost of winter and the tiny leaves bursting through the surface into the sun. 

You can tell I’ve been in the greenhouse can’t you?  I invested half of my mystery patron’s investment into seeds and bulbs at the 50p shop and have a bulging bag of goodies to plant and sow later today.  The day looks as though it will gradually open up into warm spring sunshine and I have nothing to do today except potter and think, a combination of pleasures that is really irresistible.

The week has been tiring with Cat's Paw Theatre and I had a lot of chores yesterday.  I think I mentioned I have a miniature twin tub hiding in the lorry.  So yesterday was washing day and I now don’t have any dirty clothes (only a huge pile of ironing). It was a thrilling last day of the Six Nations so I watched while I washed and then cleaned the inside of the lorry.  I cannot justify just sitting in front of four hours of rugby on one day though I’m sure many can and do!  So I listen to the commentary and do the housework, well no, lorrywork at the same time only stopping to watch the exciting bits.  Two of the advantages to living in one small space is that you don’t have much to clean and the tv is never far away!  One of the disadvantages to having a woodburner in that same small space is that everything becomes very grimy very quickly.

Anyway I don’t want to bore you with my cleaning stories when you have so many of your own, so suffice it to say my living space is shiny and my clothes are clean.

Cat’s Paw Theatre had some great news in the week.  I’ve mentioned the little clicker devices we borrowed to use to garner young people’s views for upward transmission to the Welsh Assembly Government.  In this way theatre is being truly politicised.  The founder of our theatre movement, Augusto Boal, advocated politicising theatre and theatricalising politics.  Well, the little clicker devices are great as we can ask the audience questions and register their knowledge before and after the presentation.  It’s very useful and very revealing.  The problem is that the clicker devices themselves are past their best.  An example of yesterday’s technology, great when they were new three years ago but now the company that made them has gone and there is therefore no support or spare parts.  And I’ve had to gaffer tape some of the kit to make it work. Anyway on Wednesday I had an idea that maybe we could have them replaced so I phoned our contact at the County Council and 24 hours later had a phone call that we could go ahead and order the new kit.  Nearly three grand’s worth of state of the art, brand new, wireless technology. The fastest ever idea-to-cash I think I’ve had.  And I’ve had a few of those in my time.  Never for me personally I have to say.  It just happened to come at slippage time.  The annual beanfeast around the Ides of March when County Councils have dosh left and nothing to spend it on!

We are going to use the clickers in a new FE production.  The police have indicated that since we have been touring the show to High Schools the statistics have changed.  Five years ago when we piloted the project they were having to deal with a great many complaints about rape and sexual violence from under 16 year olds.  Scary but true.  The parents thought the schools were teaching it and the schools thought the parents ought to, and often no-one was.  Which was where we came in.  Now, though, the demographics have changed.  The police now say that they are not having nearly as many reports from the under 16s. It’s moved up to the 16–24 years olds. The under-16 complaints have dropped substantially. Obviously we can’t claim a causal correlation, but we do know that over 10,000 young people have seen the piece in that time and at the very least they have been told what rape is and have heard about the deeper implications of consent.  And we have evidence that the way in which we are presenting this topic is being remembered several years later.

We are planning to use the new clickers in the new production not only to garner the statistics the government are seeking but also to allow the audience to make decisions about the process of the story itself, to see what happens if characters behave in one way or another.  A real rehearsal for reality.  More about this next time.

So I’ve a lot of thinking to do.  To the greenhouse…

All the best from a road near you,

Mr Alexander

The Mystery of the Materialising Money

I love a mystery.  Well as a sort of magician I would I guess, but I really do love mysteries. If there’s a mystery film I’m there, in rapt attention for the clues.  Woebetide anyone who says anything at a pertinent moment in the plot.  Of course I mostly watch alone now, poor old sod.  Anyway I love mysteries and I’ve just been a major player in a real life one!

I had had a hard day at the chalk face today in Dinas Bran school in Llangollen, with my theatre company.  Two times two hour sessions this morning so I was feeling shattered but quite happy with the prospect of an afternoon pottering in the allotment. I called at the Big House to collect my mail.  Mostly predictable as always, but then I came to a thin re-used paddy bag that had my name on it spelled as ‘Mister Alexander’.  Quite rare that.  Usually ‘Mr Alexander’.  No sender’s name on the back and I wasn’t expecting anything.  The bag had a label that had been franked when it had been originally used and this label was still in place.  At first I thought that the package was from this company, but then noticed that a large first class stamp (I mean a first class stamp for a large letter) had been stuck on below the printed sticker.  The new postmark was blurred and unreadable. The original postal sticker was from a very well known Covent Garden theatrical makeup company.  Anyone who has been five minutes in the business will know the name and I thought maybe it was a flier from them.  A long shot maybe but no.  The paddy bag had been sellotaped and was obviously a re-used envelope.  My curiosity was racing now.  It was thin, no lumps to be felt inside.  Originally the envelope had been sent to someone in Brentford in Essex.  I don’t think I know of anyone in Brentford who buys theatrical makeup.

I know you’re thinking why don’t I just get to the point and open it.  But I love a mystery!  I will often spend ages trying to work out who has sent a letter before I open it. There were no more clues on the outside so I did open it.  I almost expected some sort of odd letter.  Inside though was yet another envelope.  White C4 sealed.  This was becoming wonderfully tantalising!  No marks, messages, notes on the outside of the second envelope.  Would there be a third and so on like that great trick where something is found inside a nest of envelopes?

So yes I opened it, and inside folded neatly was £50 in cash.  And that’s all.  No note, no message, no clue! Two ponies in a paddy!

Now I have had some nice surprises in my life but I have never ever had a mystery donation of cash!  When I am busking and someone puts a bank note in the hat this is a real bonus and I have had a £20 note a few times.  That’s definitely an Italian! (I make cracks in the show when I receive notes in the hat – a fiver is ‘Chips tonight!’ a tenner is ‘Chinese tonight’ and £20 is an Italian!)  So £50 is a really special night out!!

But then is the money really mine?  No-one owes me money and surely no-one I know would just put £50 in an envelope without a message.  Curioser and curioser…

So do I have a sugar daddy?  I think I would prefer a sugar mummy really, but you know what I mean.  Or is there an obvious simple explanation? Is the sticker on the envelope a clue?  This could have been torn off but wasn’t.  And a theatre makeup company.  Very specialised in fact.  And Brentford in Essex.  Only a place I’ve ever driven through.

It’s going to drive me nuts in nice way!  If the mystery benefactor is one of my blog readers then I must say a real thank you.  I will consider it an investment rather than a gift and it will be placed in my emergency busking tin, which is now down to about a fiver in pennies and twos until such a time as I either really need it (which might well be very soon!!) or I discover where it came from.

And hey if anyone else wants to support the cause...  No only joking.  But a lovely way to end a day and if anyone can throw some light on the mystery, please get in touch!  Or maybe no, don’t, because it wouldn’t be a mystery anymore and I loved the mystery!

£50 richer, result, happiness, to misquote Mr Micawber.

All the best from a road near you,

Mr Alexander

Talk and chalk and cheese

It was back to school this week for Cat’s Paw Theatre.  A full-on, five day, two shows a day, lots of travel week.  The shows went very well.  We are running a new evaluation system for the Welsh Assembly Government that allows accurate measurement of what we are teaching the young people.  Every member of the audience is given a little remote clicker device at the start of the show and they respond to questions as they come up through the drama.  I’ve mentioned the piece is about rape and sexual consent.  One of the basic misunderstandings many 14 year-olds have is that they think a woman can rape a man (I think many adults have this misunderstanding too).  So we ask them near the start of the presentation.  An average of 80% of them get it wrong and we ask the same question at the end.  The computer records the statistics and we can show the government how much they have learned.  It's a simple and effective method of gathering statistics and the children enjoy it.  The presentation gives Year 9s a comprehensive idea of the issues and the facts around the issue.  It has become obvious that there is a huge need.  Many young people have no idea about the complexities around sexual consent, and yet this is the age when they are starting, or at least to think of starting sexual relationships. Parents think the schools are teaching this subject.  In most cases they aren’t and are assuming the parents are doing it.  Many of them aren’t either and so the children are hitting 14 and 15 with little or no idea of the law of rape, the full meaning of consent or of the morality around the subject.

The schools themselves are very different in their response to us as a theatre company.  The show is free to the schools. We have been delving into the depths of Welsh-speaking west Wales and there is a definite attitude some schools have towards us as an English-speaking theatre company.  One school we arrived this week was typical of the worst prejudice.  I arrived early as I set up the technology and as the dogs are in the car with me I like to give them a walk before we start.  It had been a 90 minute drive to the school. I was shown the hall.  There was no-one to help set up the chairs and the hall floor was filthy with sweet papers, mud and several weeks of dust.  The caretaker eventually arrived and spoke to me in Welsh.  I apologised that I only spoke English but he carried on speaking Welsh.  I asked for a brush so I could sweep up.  He didn’t offer to do it but indicated where I could find one and left.  So I swept the place, set up the chairs and the equipment.  In fairness he did help to stack the chairs. But still no welcome from any of the teaching staff and no offer of a cuppa so when the others in the company arrived I went off in search of cups of coffee for us.  In the staffroom I asked someone whether I might make ourselves a drink.  I was told it would cost 30p a cup.  I paid and made the coffee.  Later a senior member of staff came in and apologised about our having to pay for the coffee and gave me the money back.  She said I had hit up against staffroom politics. 

In the second show in the same school, the children came into the hall and it became obvious that there were no staff with them.  We insist on school staff being there as from time to time we have a young person who becomes upset by the content.  It’s often because they’ve been a victim themselves.  One of the reasons we’ve been funded to do the work is because of the high percentage of child rape victims.  Anyway it’s essential that the school staff are there in case this happens so they take the distressed young person out and support them.  Anyway we waited.  No staff.  Eventually we had to go to ask reception to sort it out. We had to wait fifteen minutes before two rather disgruntled looking staff were available to sit in the hall and we could begin.  We had to rush the whole show and miss out several important chunks of the presentation. It was typical of the school and at the end we still had hardly spoken to anyone from the school.  No feedback, no thanks. It was dreadful.

However it was very different at today’s school.  Just down the road from the first and also Welsh-speaking.  But what a difference.  A clean light hall with chairs all set out ready.  A tray of coffee and welcome which made us feel genuinely that we were.  No tension around the language differences. Staff involvement, interest and excellent feedback. It’s incredible that two schools could be so different.  And if they are different to us, it doesn’t take a major leap to imagine the differences for the children.

Of course schools, like any organisation, go through ups and downs but the differences were remarkable, and Britain’s children are having to cope with that luck of the draw.  Which school would you prefer to have your children attend?

All the best from a road near you,

Mr Alexander